Wonder of Nature
<Lord of the Flies> by William Golding
Once more,
Amid the breeze,
The shouting,
The slanting sunlight on the high mountain,
Was shed that glamour,
That strange invisible light of friendship,
Adventure,
Content.
[Page 39]
Trees,
Forced by the damp heat,
Found too little soil for growth,
Fell early and decayed:
Creepers cradled them,
And new saplings searched a way up.
[Page 39]
There was sudden bright explosion,
And corkscrew trail across the sky;
Then darkness again
And stars.
[Page 95]
The format of your poem in the video was very creative and described the atmosphere of the children well. I also must note that the use of ocean noises made the feel of your poem more fun, similar to what our group had aimed to do. Good job.
ReplyDelete-Mason
I like the intonation of the voices, and the background sound
ReplyDeleteNice picture. Your discription about the island builds a dark atmosphere which really impresses me. The reader’s voice fits the picture perfectly. The video gives me a more realistic feeling about the atmosphere. Good job!
ReplyDelete–Sara
I thought that the short one-word lines complimented the longer lines of your poem effectively. I also like how you managed to incorporate alliteration into some lines.
ReplyDelete-Marko
Great poem! It was very creative of you to put the words on the leaf! I also liked the ocean sound in the background. :)
ReplyDelete- Darren
DeleteGreat intonation and noun use within the poem! The short lines in poem really helped to put meanings into nouns and symbolize them.
ReplyDeleteHenry
Great noun use and the ocean background music make me feel so comfortable.The intonation of the poem is also kind of wonderful.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem guys! I thought the use of the one word phrases really complimented the longer ones. The words on the leaf was also very interesting and creative.
ReplyDeleteHaha Are we allowed to comment on their own project? anyways It turned out pretty nicely, great background sound effects and all. Thanks for putting it all together for us!
ReplyDeleteI like how you inco-oprated the poem into the visuals, it was very unique and I think the poem had a nice atmosphere to it. Not sure if the background was music, or something, but in general, an awesome poem. I'm also amazed at how many people in blk B comments, because in Blk A, not much people are doing it. ._.
ReplyDelete.......am I the only person that noticed that the middle section of the poem seems to be missing from the video? Other than that, this is a poem that was very nicely put together. I especially liked how the "slanting sunlight" near the beginning contrasted with the "darkness and stars" at the end. Well done!
ReplyDeleteVincent T.
hey, I noticed that too. Stanza two wasn't narrated I believe.
DeleteI was initially confused.
Oh! I just realized that it is missing from the audio! Sorry about the mistake!
Deleteyah...I noticed not many people from Block A are into commenting either. oh well...their loss eh? There are some really awesome poems on these blogs!
ReplyDeleteWell, this was certainly a creative group effort what with the leaf and surf noises in the background. I enjoy reading these sort of poems way better with all the audio/visual than just reading poetry anthologies submitted on paper. There is way more here to digest.
I must say that it does take much longer to create an original video for a found poem. Of course, submitting the poem on paper is much much easier. However, I must admit that the effort of recording the poem, putting the phrases together in one single picture, merging the audio and the graphic together in a video, and after all posting the final work on the blog to have people enjoy it and give us feedback is definitely worth it! After all, I am once again pleased and excited by the fact that I have learned much more than what I have expected to learn even though it is such a small assignment. Thank you!
Deletefeedback for future poems: do remember to have a creative original title; a subtitle like in the checklist and rubric indicating the author Golding and pages. Don't put the page numbers after each line as you have done as that mars the overall effect of the poem.
ReplyDeleteFormat otherwise was great
Thank you for the feedback! I will definitely take your advice and hopefully produce a better found poem next time! Indeed, we have an original title and the author. They are on the top of the page, above the video. :D
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